Marilena
and I always felt there was something special about Adam, something spiritual. A number of times Marilena and I would discuss
how special Adam was, how spiritual he was, his big eyes, his beautiful smile, his giggle, his inquisitive mind. We loved
it when it was summer time, he would tan so dark, with his bronze colored hair, big eyes, and tight athletic and fit body,
he would be the most beautiful creature, and the darkest in the crowd. We called him our little Brazilian. He also had a small
puff of blond hair between his Adam’s apple and chin that we loved to pet. He was never embarrassed about it or ask
that we shave it off.
He
could be the most silly kid at times, a typical boy. Other times he could be the quietist kid, just sitting back and studying
the moment. He would go into the deep thought and then, a day or two later he would ask us an interesting question about that
moment, that we would have already forgotten about.
Adam and I were so attached to each other that I had this strange reason I would lose
him some day. Wherever we went, Adam would always sit next to me, and parts of our body would always be touching. He would
hug my arm, or lean his head on my shoulder. I spent more time with Adam than Nicolas or Livia and now I know why.
Adam
had a close call when he was 2 years old. Marilena was upstairs in the kitchen and Adam was playing by himself downstairs.
Marilena just happened to be walking down the stairs, when she saw Adam at the base of the stairs, choking on a large candy
and foaming at the mouth. She quickly grabbed Adam, held him upside down by the feet and eventually the candy popped out.
Good thing Marilena went downstairs when she did. Maybe God was not ready to take Adam yet.
Marilena
and I always loved to kiss Adam on the side of the head while smelling the side of his head. His head was always so warm.
He always was the huggy type, always cuddling up on the couch with us, always asking us to lay in bed with him before he fell
asleep. Sometimes he would hug me so tight that he would not let me leave his bed. At church, he would lean against me and
fall asleep. I relished every moment of it. He just got in that mood so many
times. We called him our “biggest snuggly bear”. We would always ask him “you are our biggest…..”
and he would reply….” nuggly bear”, making the “s “silent. He knew we loved that. He always
fell asleep on car rides, even at 11 years old. He loved to sleep, I don’t know why. He would fall asleep within minutes
of leaving the driveway, even if it was morning. I could never figure that out. He slept well, he always had energy, but when
he had the chance, he would sleep.
He was never attached to any objects, like a certain toy, or computers, or TV shows until he was about 9 or 10 years
old. He had his favorite sweater/jacket that his grandma gave him and he wore that all the time. In his last year he had his
white Foxhat, a baseball cap that he wore all the time, which all the kids wrote about in their memory writings of Adam. He
had his charm bracelet , which I now wear with his favorite number 13 on it, his favorite soccer team Juventus, the Italian
and Canadian Flags, the peace sign, a four leaf clover, and a few animals since he loved animals. That bracelet brings me
a lot of memories of Adam, handing it over to me in the hockey change room to hold on to during practices or games. I remember
sometimes having it in my pocket while I watched him play, and rubbing it between my fingers. Nicolas now wears Adam's necklace. His
favorite music, Good Charlotte, Billy Talent, Green Day, Linkin Park.We would crank up the tunes in the car and sing together. He made a CD called Adam’s Mix and he asked
me what my favorite songs were and he put them on his CD. His favorite colour was blue.
Adam
was considerate to others. When he was 9 yrs old, while playing ball hockey, Adam already had scored 2 goals in the one game.
He scored his third goal in that game, he and his friend Nicholas swatting at the ball at the same time, Adam’s stick
in front of Nicholas’s stick. Adam got the hat trick. The Ref walked over to the score keepers bench to indicate that
Adam scored the goal. But then I saw Adam run to the ref, tap him on his shoulder, shake his head, and point over to Nicholas.
At the time I was not sure what was going on, but I leaned over to Nicholas’s mum and said, I think Adam just gave up
his goal to Nicholas.
After
the game while driving home I asked Adam if he scored that goal, he said yes, and I asked him why did he ask the ref to give
the goal to Nicholas. Adam said it was because Nick hadn’t scored in a few games so he thought it would be nice to give
the goal to Nick. I told Adam I was very proud of him, and told him not too many kids would give up that glorious hat trick
goal. I just thought this was so amazing.
He was a friendly boy, had lots of friends and was never afraid to make new friends. I remember when he made the Burlington indoor
soccer team, a town 40 minutes outside of Niagara Falls. It didn’t take him long to make new friends and be one of the leaders of the pack.
I remember when we went to the indoor soccer tournament in Cleveland, and how he was right in there , kids knocking on our hotel room door asking if Adam could
come to their room, asking if he could go to the pool with them.
In
junior kindergarten, the teacher approached us with a funny problem. He made the girls laugh so much that they always wanted
to sit beside him. The problem was that too many girls in the class wanted to sit next to Adam, and they would have to
pull up extra chairs. He was just so lovable. At his first school age birthday party, he had 8 girls and 1 boy attend.
He had great self discipline. In 2004 for Lent, he gave up video games for the full 40 days. I remember during Lent
when we were in London and he was amongst all his cousins. They were all playing Play Station, including his
brother Nicolas who had just broken his Lent promise. Adam was sitting quietly behind them the entire night, as the others
played on. Marilena even told Adam that we would allow him to break his Lent promise for this one night. But he refused to.
He continued to maintain that discipline throughout the entire duration of lent, tempted by friends and family several times.
I couldn’t believe it. He was truly special. He held on and succeeded. Again I was so proud of him.
He
loved animals and he loved extreme sports. He wanted to be a veterinarian, but when he was younger he wanted to be a motocross
racer. I shattered his dreams of becoming a motocross racer when I found out how dangerous it was and how expensive it was.
He cried when I told him.
Getting
back to his famous fox hat he bought last year. Marilena and I never knew what the Fox symbol meant. A few weeks after his
death Marilena found out that the Fox symbol stood for Fox Racing, a motocross racing organization. No wonder he
wanted that hat so bad and wore it all the time. I told him he couldn't be a motocross racer, but he got to show off his fox
hat instead.
He
loved meat, ribs and wings especially, but on the other hand loved animals. He adopted a Tiger from the WWF. He read that
if you loved animals you shouldn’t eat meat. So one day in the middle of the summer 2004 , he decided to quit eating
meat, without telling us why. It had to be right in the middle of BBQ season. He
learned to like veggie burgers and veggie dogs. This lasted for about 5 months, with many nights the family eating wings and
pizza, only for Adam to watch us and he would peel the pepperoni off the pizza. We ate ribs in front of him too. We tempted
him many times but to no avail. He hung on for over 5 months, resisting temptation after temptation. Finally, just before Christmas time he broke down and resumed eating meat. Great dedication for an 11 year
old boy. Why ? I don’t know. He was very special and spiritual that’s why.
He
wanted a dog so bad. In the summer of 2004 he wanted that Beagle he had seen at a pet store. I said no. I remember driving
home from one of his soccer games, and looking at him and he was staring out the side window crying silently. I asked him
what was wrong. He said he wanted that Beagle. Never has Adam cried for anything, he was not a spoiled kid , it must have
meant a lot to him. Eventually we softened and bought him a Guinea pig. He held that Guinea Pig all the time.
He
was a talented boy, played travel soccer to the highest level possible. That made me very proud since I played travel soccer
when I was a child and almost made the Provincial team when I was 15. At 16 I tore my knee ligaments and that was the end
of my soccer career.Yes, as some fathers do, we sometimes live our childhood dreams through our children. I'll admit
that.
I remember one day three months short of his 3rd birthday; it took me less
than an hour to teach him how to ride a two wheel bike. By the end of the day he was jumping off the roadside curbs. I couldn’t
believe it. He was a daredevil. He sometimes would fall down, but would get right up. He played any sport with heart. He never
came off when he got hurt. He would keep playing. We called him a warrior.
I
kept all his sport statistics, game results, goals, assists. I was saving these stats for a binder of his sporting achievements.
I never got to it, but now I have the time.I was so proud when he won the fall ball hockey league scoring championship when
he was 9 years old. He ran like a cheetah, his favorite animal. He wasn’t afraid to try anything, playing soccer, ice
hockey, ball hockey, track and field, cross country, handball. He brought great joy to my life.
He
was brave. In late summer of 2004, Marilena left a pot of water on the stove to boil while she just slipped down the road
to pick up the kids from school for lunch. Adam was the first person to walk in the house only to come out of the house screaming
“fire”. Marilena called 911 and waited outside with the kids, but where was Adam? There he was unraveling the
hose in the back yard, turned on the water and dragged the hose to the other side of the house and began squirting water through
the open kitchen window.
I
am glad I bent over backwards to leave work early so I could watch Adam at practice or at games. I was not the type of
parent to not drop him off and pick him up afterwards. I just loved to watch him at everything he did, every touch to the
ball, every stick contact to the puck. What if he got hurt and I wasn’t there. Livia had surprisingly made the 2005
travel soccer team and that would mean two children traveling the province. I decided to step back from helping coach/manage
Adam’s team and just be a spectator parent this summer so I could watch all 3 kids equally.
I
remember Nicolas once saying, “Dad, why do you prefer to watch Adam instead of me?” I felt so guilty, but now
I look back and I am glad I did.
I
have no regrets. Adam and I lived every day to the fullest.
Had
either Nicolas or Livia died, I think I would have had some regrets, especially if it was Nicolas. I think
Adam would have been devastated because he was a very sensitive boy, and anything that would have happened to me, Marilena
or the other two kids would have been very hard on Adam. I think out of all my children, Adam would have suffered long and
hard.
I
have no worries about Nicolas and Livia, they will live long, get married, have children and be happy.
Marilena
and I created this wonderful child. God blessed us with this child for a reason, and then took him away.
